Maid of Cheek

100. I have a very large ego.  I generally think a great deal of myself.

99. I am rather impulsive.

98. That can be a problem when it comes to managing my bank account.

97. I’m addicted to magazines.

96. I’m smarter than I look.

95. I’m also smarter than I probably act sometimes.

94. I will very rarely say “no” to a bottle of wine.

93. It’s possible that I am hyper-sexual.

92. That’s in comparison to a lot of the women I’ve met.

91. Lola is very much an exception to that comparison.

90. This is in spite of being date-raped my sophomore year in college.

89. The guy that did it smelled like whiskey and to this day I can’t drink that particular beverage.

88. It’s pretty much the only thing I won’t drink.

87. That’s actually the only apparent repercussion of that event.

86. I wouldn’t be devastated if I got pregnant unexpectedly.

85. I kind of like giving blow jobs.

84. I really love getting oral sex.

83. I didn’t really intend for this to become a blog all about sex…but hey, I mentioned the hyper-sexual thing, right?

82. I really like the idea of taking my husband’s name when I get married, but I’m not sure I’ll want to.  I love my name.

81. I hate cheesy Hallmark cards.

80. I love shuffling cards, I find it calming.

79. I love the scent of beer and cigar smoke on a man.

78. I’m very critical…of others.

77. It takes a lot to impress me.

76. Because of the last two things, I’ve had to learn to smile and nod often.

75. “Good” guys bore me.

74. “Bad” guys irritate me.

73. I like them somewhere close to the middle but leaning towards the “bad” end of the spectrum.

72. To me, the saddest part of me spilling that bit of wine just now is that it was a waste of good wine.

71. I hate having those “talks” with someone and having to be that serious (hence the angst over the talk with Music Man).

70. I think drummers are the sexiest (Travis Barker, feel free to call me sometime).

69. I’ve tried it, didn’t care for it…

68. I have that immature sense of humor that wants to respond “Yes, please” every time there’s a profile or application asking for “Sex: M or F.”

67. I really like my boobs.

66. They’re a 34C.

65. I’ve always thought being in a burlesque show a la Dita Von Teese would be a lot of fun.

64. I’m definitely a shoe whore.

63. It’s a toss up between music and sex.

62. Or between clothes and good wine.

61. I sort of wish I had more wine right now.

60. If you’re going to Starbucks get me an iced grande vanilla soy latte.  Thanks.

59. I naturally already have plenty of ideas about my wedding.

57. I would really like to skip the awkwardness of dating and just be comfortable in a relationship.

56. I fucking swear like a sailor.

55. Occasionally, I smoke…usually when I’ve been drinking.

54. I really shouldn’t because it makes my chin break out badly.

53. I’m lactose-intolerant.

52. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had some tell me, “Omigosh, I could never give up cheese.”

51. I find that really annoying.

50. I have one brother.

49. Still looking for my signature scent, but what I use is fantastic.

48. I’ve never had a song written about me…that I know of.

47. I’ve always wanted one.

46. I tend to be a jealous lover.

45. I think it’s because of the ego, I want to be the center of attention.  But I try to be gracious…

44. I hate dishonesty.

43. I’ve had relationships evaporate because of that, I just withdraw when someone starts lying to me.

42. I wear my hair short.  It’s hot.

41. I rarely feel understood, but not in a emo way…

40. My legs are amazing.

39. So’s my ass.

38. But it’s my boobs that get all the attention…

37. I’ve been clinically depressed as long as I can remember.

36. I’ve overcome a lot of that, and these days feel more like myself than I ever have in my life.

35. I love the rain and thunderstorms.

34. Sometimes, I still wish I was in college…purely because I didn’t have to schedule in my friends.

33. There are only a couple of people who know about the things I write about in this blog.

32. I’ll probably be that neurotic mother that they make fun of on sitcoms.

31. But I hope I’m the type of mom Rachel Green was (on Friends).

30. I really believe that opposites attract.

29. But…similarities are important too.

28. I contradict myself…occasionally.

27. I love avocados.

26. I thought Scrubs was off the air…is it not?  Apparently this is a new episode…

25. I dye my hair.

24. I own Katherine McPhee’s album…and I actually kind of like it.

23. I’m glad this blog is anonymous after admitting that.

22. I think that I could receive oral sex from another girl, but I’m not sure I could bring myself to give it.

21. Was actually not a big birthday from me, I didn’t do much.

20. I’m terrified of death.

19. I don’t think I should have to speak Spanish if I’m not in a Spanish-speaking country.

18. I’m not on birth control.

17. I find it unfortunate that right now, there’s no reason I need to be.

16. Then again…see number 86.

15. I’m extremely intuitive.

14. I sort of like to be dominated…not in an S&M kind of way…just…taken control of…

13. It’s a pretty big deal when I fall for a guy, I have very high standards.

12. I love a foreign accent.

11. I wish I spoke another language flawlessly.

10. I’m pretty musically talented.

9. I’ve always been pretty flexible.

8. I’m not just referring to physically.

7. I’m not what you’d call a “planner” when it comes to “life.”

6. I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac.

5. Possibly because my family lived in Europe for a lot of my young life and when we came to the states, I started getting sick very often.

4. I also tend to be fairly resistant to various medications because of this (I got them thrown at me a lot…).

3. I can be a bit careless…reckless even.

2. I underestimate my effect on men…which makes me a tease.

1. I think that’s why I like a challenge (Music Man isn’t enthralled with me so naturally he’s the one I want…).

Didn’t think I’d make it…seeing as I’ve been sipping on white wine the whole time.  Expect me to be drinking and blogging often enough…

See you in your dreams…