Maid of Cheek

Hey everyone, sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit.  Things have not been slow around here and “busy” seems to be my middle name.

But my world has been turned upside down recently and I feel I need to share that with you.

Music Man will not longer be taking a prime spot on this blog, and Sir Hollywood will be taking over.  You’ll remember Sir Hollywood, he’s the funny one I’ve posted the convo with before.

The Sir has been a big player in my life for a few months now.  From the first time we hung out we were fast friends and just weren’t spending much time apart.  We’ve always had so much fun and have so much in common it’s been a tad ridiculous.  Most everyone treated us like we were dating (because they assumed we were) and would then ask “Why not?” when we said we weren’t.

Then about a week ago my friend McLovin got pretty drunk and let spill all these things about Sir Hollywood’s feelings for me and how much better off I would be if I just let the whole Music Man thing go and open my eyes.  I didn’t agree one hundred percent with his diagnosis of the situation, I was mainly concerned with the feelings that were brought up.  I had been questioning what kind of relationship Sir and I had for a little bit.  I had been thinking my feelings might be deeper, but that was/is frightening because he is nothing like what I pictured.  Nothing like what I pictured more than just physically, quite a few aspects freaked me out.

But he’s so wonderful, and all I could think of was how he’s my best friend and you’re sort of supposed to be with your best friend.  Any arguments I could come up with I could quickly shoot down myself, without consulting anyone.  I kept thinking that really, if I was honest with myself, I knew it would be pretty amazing.  And even though my natural reaction would usually be to pull away, not talk to him as much and be more careful with physical vicinity, I could help texting him shortly thereafter to share something funny.

I knew I missed him when he wasn’t near me.

I knew I couldn’t wait to share everything about my day with him.

I knew no one else could get me the way he gets me.

I knew I cared for him more than I wanted to freely admit.

So I talked to him and we shared these types of things at first timidly over the phone, and then frankly and honestly the way we share everything else.

And now we’re together and loving every minute.  He’s so good to me and I was right, it’s amazing.  It’s been like skipping past the awkward dating stuff to the comfortable part in a relationship, because we were such good friends beforehand.

Music Man?  I think I was holding onto feelings just to have something to hold onto and protect me from finding someone that might hurt me by acting all great and then breaking my heart like the first guy did.  The fact that I could compartmentalize the physical stuff from everything else was a symptom of that.

But then I found someone that blows me away and shows me what good is.

It’s very exciting.