Oh how things change…
Hey everyone, sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit. Things have not been slow around here and “busy” seems to be my middle name.
But my world has been turned upside down recently and I feel I need to share that with you.
Music Man will not longer be taking a prime spot on this blog, and Sir Hollywood will be taking over. You’ll remember Sir Hollywood, he’s the funny one I’ve posted the convo with before.
The Sir has been a big player in my life for a few months now. From the first time we hung out we were fast friends and just weren’t spending much time apart. We’ve always had so much fun and have so much in common it’s been a tad ridiculous. Most everyone treated us like we were dating (because they assumed we were) and would then ask “Why not?” when we said we weren’t.
Then about a week ago my friend McLovin got pretty drunk and let spill all these things about Sir Hollywood’s feelings for me and how much better off I would be if I just let the whole Music Man thing go and open my eyes. I didn’t agree one hundred percent with his diagnosis of the situation, I was mainly concerned with the feelings that were brought up. I had been questioning what kind of relationship Sir and I had for a little bit. I had been thinking my feelings might be deeper, but that was/is frightening because he is nothing like what I pictured. Nothing like what I pictured more than just physically, quite a few aspects freaked me out.
But he’s so wonderful, and all I could think of was how he’s my best friend and you’re sort of supposed to be with your best friend. Any arguments I could come up with I could quickly shoot down myself, without consulting anyone. I kept thinking that really, if I was honest with myself, I knew it would be pretty amazing. And even though my natural reaction would usually be to pull away, not talk to him as much and be more careful with physical vicinity, I could help texting him shortly thereafter to share something funny.
I knew I missed him when he wasn’t near me.
I knew I couldn’t wait to share everything about my day with him.
I knew no one else could get me the way he gets me.
I knew I cared for him more than I wanted to freely admit.
So I talked to him and we shared these types of things at first timidly over the phone, and then frankly and honestly the way we share everything else.
And now we’re together and loving every minute. He’s so good to me and I was right, it’s amazing. It’s been like skipping past the awkward dating stuff to the comfortable part in a relationship, because we were such good friends beforehand.
Music Man? I think I was holding onto feelings just to have something to hold onto and protect me from finding someone that might hurt me by acting all great and then breaking my heart like the first guy did. The fact that I could compartmentalize the physical stuff from everything else was a symptom of that.
But then I found someone that blows me away and shows me what good is.
It’s very exciting.
George Harrison, The Doors, Pink Floyd, and Dorothy.
I have always been a curious individual. Yes, curious in that I raise eyebrows as part of a “Hmm, that girl is quirky and odd, along with strong-willed and completely fascinating.” But also curious in my humble (or not-so-humble) outlook on life.
So the opportunity to try smoking certain substances has naturally been something I’ve thought about and decided that it was something I’d try. I’d never been offered before, but let’s just admit that “curiosity” really leans into “the Maid really does want to try it.”
As soon as I mentioned this desire to Sir Hollywood, it was set up for the next night.
And last night I got high for the first time. It was perfect.
It could not have been more cliche and that’s what made it so fabulous. We were all over the place schooling a friend about the genius of George Harrison, other classic rockers, and finally, Pink Floyd. It was the perfect time to sync up The Wizard of Oz with a certain Pink Floyd album…
I could not have orchestrated a better first experience.
The (ubiquitous) 100 Things List
100. I have a very large ego. I generally think a great deal of myself.
99. I am rather impulsive.
98. That can be a problem when it comes to managing my bank account.
97. I’m addicted to magazines.
96. I’m smarter than I look.
95. I’m also smarter than I probably act sometimes.
94. I will very rarely say “no” to a bottle of wine.
93. It’s possible that I am hyper-sexual.
92. That’s in comparison to a lot of the women I’ve met.
91. Lola is very much an exception to that comparison.
90. This is in spite of being date-raped my sophomore year in college.
89. The guy that did it smelled like whiskey and to this day I can’t drink that particular beverage.
88. It’s pretty much the only thing I won’t drink.
87. That’s actually the only apparent repercussion of that event.
86. I wouldn’t be devastated if I got pregnant unexpectedly.
85. I kind of like giving blow jobs.
84. I really love getting oral sex.
83. I didn’t really intend for this to become a blog all about sex…but hey, I mentioned the hyper-sexual thing, right?
82. I really like the idea of taking my husband’s name when I get married, but I’m not sure I’ll want to. I love my name.
81. I hate cheesy Hallmark cards.
80. I love shuffling cards, I find it calming.
79. I love the scent of beer and cigar smoke on a man.
78. I’m very critical…of others.
77. It takes a lot to impress me.
76. Because of the last two things, I’ve had to learn to smile and nod often.
75. “Good” guys bore me.
74. “Bad” guys irritate me.
73. I like them somewhere close to the middle but leaning towards the “bad” end of the spectrum.
72. To me, the saddest part of me spilling that bit of wine just now is that it was a waste of good wine.
71. I hate having those “talks” with someone and having to be that serious (hence the angst over the talk with Music Man).
70. I think drummers are the sexiest (Travis Barker, feel free to call me sometime).
69. I’ve tried it, didn’t care for it…
68. I have that immature sense of humor that wants to respond “Yes, please” every time there’s a profile or application asking for “Sex: M or F.”
67. I really like my boobs.
66. They’re a 34C.
65. I’ve always thought being in a burlesque show a la Dita Von Teese would be a lot of fun.
64. I’m definitely a shoe whore.
63. It’s a toss up between music and sex.
62. Or between clothes and good wine.
61. I sort of wish I had more wine right now.
60. If you’re going to Starbucks get me an iced grande vanilla soy latte. Thanks.
59. I naturally already have plenty of ideas about my wedding.
57. I would really like to skip the awkwardness of dating and just be comfortable in a relationship.
56. I fucking swear like a sailor.
55. Occasionally, I smoke…usually when I’ve been drinking.
54. I really shouldn’t because it makes my chin break out badly.
53. I’m lactose-intolerant.
52. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had some tell me, “Omigosh, I could never give up cheese.”
51. I find that really annoying.
50. I have one brother.
49. Still looking for my signature scent, but what I use is fantastic.
48. I’ve never had a song written about me…that I know of.
47. I’ve always wanted one.
46. I tend to be a jealous lover.
45. I think it’s because of the ego, I want to be the center of attention. But I try to be gracious…
44. I hate dishonesty.
43. I’ve had relationships evaporate because of that, I just withdraw when someone starts lying to me.
42. I wear my hair short. It’s hot.
41. I rarely feel understood, but not in a emo way…
40. My legs are amazing.
39. So’s my ass.
38. But it’s my boobs that get all the attention…
37. I’ve been clinically depressed as long as I can remember.
36. I’ve overcome a lot of that, and these days feel more like myself than I ever have in my life.
35. I love the rain and thunderstorms.
34. Sometimes, I still wish I was in college…purely because I didn’t have to schedule in my friends.
33. There are only a couple of people who know about the things I write about in this blog.
32. I’ll probably be that neurotic mother that they make fun of on sitcoms.
31. But I hope I’m the type of mom Rachel Green was (on Friends).
30. I really believe that opposites attract.
29. But…similarities are important too.
28. I contradict myself…occasionally.
27. I love avocados.
26. I thought Scrubs was off the air…is it not? Apparently this is a new episode…
25. I dye my hair.
24. I own Katherine McPhee’s album…and I actually kind of like it.
23. I’m glad this blog is anonymous after admitting that.
22. I think that I could receive oral sex from another girl, but I’m not sure I could bring myself to give it.
21. Was actually not a big birthday from me, I didn’t do much.
20. I’m terrified of death.
19. I don’t think I should have to speak Spanish if I’m not in a Spanish-speaking country.
18. I’m not on birth control.
17. I find it unfortunate that right now, there’s no reason I need to be.
16. Then again…see number 86.
15. I’m extremely intuitive.
14. I sort of like to be dominated…not in an S&M kind of way…just…taken control of…
13. It’s a pretty big deal when I fall for a guy, I have very high standards.
12. I love a foreign accent.
11. I wish I spoke another language flawlessly.
10. I’m pretty musically talented.
9. I’ve always been pretty flexible.
8. I’m not just referring to physically.
7. I’m not what you’d call a “planner” when it comes to “life.”
6. I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac.
5. Possibly because my family lived in Europe for a lot of my young life and when we came to the states, I started getting sick very often.
4. I also tend to be fairly resistant to various medications because of this (I got them thrown at me a lot…).
3. I can be a bit careless…reckless even.
2. I underestimate my effect on men…which makes me a tease.
1. I think that’s why I like a challenge (Music Man isn’t enthralled with me so naturally he’s the one I want…).
Didn’t think I’d make it…seeing as I’ve been sipping on white wine the whole time. Expect me to be drinking and blogging often enough…
See you in your dreams…
Moving On
We had our meeting, finally.So you can hope that this blog will be devoid of the angst soon.I think it went well. Everything that was absolutely necessary was said. I’m not that good at articulating things when I talk, but I managed to at least say what I wanted to. And now Music Man and I will be able to move on without being awkward, and get to know each other and be friends. And we will all live happily ever after will rainbows, puppies, unicorns, and daisies. I have more confidence in moving forward, at least. And I still wouldn’t mind getting him naked again…but that’s another issue.
A Meeting
Music Man responded and we are planning to meet tomorrow…mostly I’m just glad we’ll be getting it over with.
But I’m nervous.
